closure

 

breathe out

–you’ve been holding your breath for too long

accept the feeling

accept the loss of control

it’s not yours to worry about anymore

no more wondering

no more banging and scratching on the door

breath out,

 

let go of the handle

turn around and see what you’ve been missing out

 

you see? you’ve made it to a new place now and you can finally rest,

turn away from that door, take a look around

this is it, this is your new home,

this is closure

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The king

So now you have a nack for making people feel alone. With your selfishness and self righteousness and your dying need to sit upon your empty throne. While the booze fills your belly and the drugs fill your blood. While the sadness fills your soul and you keep wanting something more. You sit everyone down. A crowd to watch you fade away and fizzle out

When you know you know (lol)

So it was always her. And I was always right. Right in the worst way. When you want so badly to be wrong. Guess I was always a rebound or a stepping stone to lead you back home. And your home is her and my home is empty searching for peace within the mess of all this. the mess of the lies and the things we tell ourselves so we can sleep at night. And I still dream of you and play future movies in my head. What a fucking delusion thinking we were meant to be what a fictional story what ironic hypocrisy. Guess love really does make you blind. Guess tonight’s the night I leave you behind.

I see you now 

It’s not a coincidence that every time you come around I put myself in a box and keep everyone out 
I shut down and hide away. 

Take space 
But it’s only from you that I need to hide. 

You’re the monster who always makes me feel small. Makes me doubt myself and build my walls  

When I let you in. I keep everyone out. 

Start feeling like the monster myself 

You are the wickedest form

Disguising yourself as love when it’s only evils you create and fear that you instil 

You come near and I shrink 

I become small 

I become moldable. Allowing you to make me into whatever you see best. Or whatever you make me believe. Whatever you want me to see 
The monsters are always the ones you least suspect 

But I’ve let you climb into my sheets and into my head. One too many times now. Now I know your layout. I know the roads and paths that make up your map. I know who you are.

 I see behind your beautiful brown eyes and into your dark soul 

all roads lead home

it feels so easy to slip off the track, the right path

all the sudden you’ve started going the wrong way, and you’re lost and confused and not sure how to get back

it’s not even noticeable when you start to step in the wrong direction, cause it happens so quick

ever look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back? 

I have and it’s happening now, I try to listen my internal compass to lead me back to myself

I can’t yet see which direction it points to bring me back home, I only see heaps of open roads…. which ones will keep leading me further away from myself, and which ones will lead me home? There’s no way to know

but that thought rings in my head “all roads lead home” so I take my first step, with a glimmer of hope.