I get so angry about not feeling free but I’m the one so worried about everyone accepting me.
Tag: mentalhealth
“the funniest guy in the room”. Well, can we talk about the abuse? between me and you?
even death doesn’t bring the truth
people still see what they want to see
what they need to see
people still confuse the ‘you’
with the ‘me’
Denial
The pain would split me in two if I let it. If I gave it access to my insides. Split me right open. Turn me inside out. Leave me no safe place to hide. I can feel it coming in around me. Closing in on me. I can feel it surrounding everything. When it feels hard to breath. When you turn the music up a little more loudly. All I know is suffering. I don’t want this suffering. All I know is suffering. Not this time. I won’t let you in. I won’t let you win. I don’t want to grieve anymore. I’m so tired of it. My body has dropped down on the floor, as I sit and write this. My body isn’t with me anymore.
I’m sitting on the seesaw of my mind
Back and forth and back and forth for the millionth time
I’ve grown tired of seeing both sides
I’m getting dizzy from the ride
Up and down and up again
Just when I think I’ve landed I get thrown up again
It never ends
Don’t take in so much noise that you drown out your own sound
dirty laundry
Stains all over my clothes
Stains all over my soul
My pain has tea with me, shares my breakfast, holds my hand
scarygood
and suddenly I’m coming back to myself;
and then I wonder where I go when i’m gone
thicker the truth the harder it hits
Thats exactly what it is. It’s so hard to say goodbye to all the damage. All the cracks, and bruises, and broken bits. The pieces that make up who you are, or who you thought you were. And if not that, then who are you? And what’s your excuse? for being this way? For doing nothing, and wasting your life away?
new feelings.
So, this is what ambition feels like? It’s a little aggravating to say the least; to actually want something. To feel that burning. That desire. That hunger for life. For a life. For your life. The hunger to choose, to build, and design your life. But oh, the patience. The self-discipline. The never- ender supply of self-love that you must feed yourself.
jennanicoleco 