when you k(no)w

So it was always her. And I was always right. Right in the worst way.  Guess I was always a rebound or a stepping stone to lead you back home. And your home is her and my home is empty searching for peace within the mess of all this. the mess of the lies and the things we tell ourselves so we can sleep at night. And I still dream of you and play future movies in my head. What a fucking delusion thinking we were meant to be what a fictional story what ironic hypocrisy. Guess love really does make you blind. Guess it’s time to leave you behind.

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unsent/unread love letters

I know there is nothing that I could say but I thought you should know how much of a shame it is that we ended up this way. and I still don’t like what I had become, or the way I treated you- the one that I loved. And it was so sad to ruin us. And I cant take it back or spend my time wishing it so. But I hope to god that you can forgive, or that you already did. Or that I can move past this and stop wishing away, and wasting my days, and soaking you up with all the thoughts in my brain.

And there is really nothing I can say,  just want you to know I didn’t want to leave you that way, and I wanted you to stay, and I didn’t mean to hurt you that way. And I never believed you, and i’m sorry for that. That’s my issue and you have yours, and I don’t know if we could’ve worked them out but I know sure as hell that I could have tried more. But I hope your okay and I love you all the same, any other way.