Feeling surrounded and completely alone. All at once. All too much. All the time.
A sea of forgetting filled with waves of memories
To turn the sadness and pain into something beautiful
It’s not a coincidence that every time you come around I put myself in a box and keep everyone out
I shut down and hide away.
But it’s only from you that I need to hide.
You’re the monster who always makes me feel small. Makes me doubt myself and build my walls
When I let you in. I keep everyone out.
Start feeling like the monster myself
You are the wickedest form
Disguising yourself as love when it’s only evils you create and fear that you instil
You come near and I shrink
I become small
I become moldable. Allowing you to make me into whatever you see best. Or whatever you make me believe. Whatever you want me to see
The monsters are always the ones you least suspect
But I’ve let you climb into my sheets and into my head. One too many times now. Now I know your layout. I know the roads and paths that make up your map. I know who you are.
I see behind your beautiful brown eyes and into your dark soul
it feels so easy to slip off the track, the right path
all the sudden you’ve started going the wrong way, and you’re lost and confused and not sure how to get back
it’s not even noticeable when you start to step in the wrong direction, cause it happens so quick
ever look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back?
I have and it’s happening now, I try to listen my internal compass to lead me back to myself
I can’t yet see which direction it points to bring me back home, I only see heaps of open roads…. which ones will keep leading me further away from myself, and which ones will lead me home? There’s no way to know
but that thought rings in my head “all roads lead home” so I take my first step, with a glimmer of hope.
so it begins… the shedding of skin.
another shift, another phase to live in
live out , or live through