The writing process

Some words feel raw. Some feel rehearsed


I see you now 

It’s not a coincidence that every time you come around I put myself in a box and keep everyone out 
I shut down and hide away. 

Take space 
But it’s only from you that I need to hide. 

You’re the monster who always makes me feel small. Makes me doubt myself and build my walls  

When I let you in. I keep everyone out. 

Start feeling like the monster myself 

You are the wickedest form

Disguising yourself as love when it’s only evils you create and fear that you instil 

You come near and I shrink 

I become small 

I become moldable. Allowing you to make me into whatever you see best. Or whatever you make me believe. Whatever you want me to see 
The monsters are always the ones you least suspect 

But I’ve let you climb into my sheets and into my head. One too many times now. Now I know your layout. I know the roads and paths that make up your map. I know who you are.

 I see behind your beautiful brown eyes and into your dark soul 

Guilt and shame 

Don’t burry yourself in your own grave with all that guilt and shame.

If you slipped into the hole just try and climb out slow. Don’t stay in and let gravity win.

Don’t wait till you’re too weak to climb out or too scared to cry for help.

That guilt and shame is an awful mix and it’s so easy to get burried by it. So try and get out before the dirt hits.