grow old

I haven’t been writing.

Haven’t been reading.

Haven’t been dancing

Haven’t been singing


Havent “had” the time

Haven’t MADE the time


This is what they warn you about when they say don’t grow up its a trap

Because these are the things that i love and that give me reasons to wake up

And ive been shoving them down and staying on the grind and hustling for a dollar bill that does nothing for my mind and nothing for my soul

And it SHOWS IT SHOWS IT SHOWS/// this is how you grow “old”


rebirth rebirth rebirth …. cont’

to flourish from the sorrow stained soil – to grow out of the dark depths of the dirt – to flow towards the burning embers of the sun and feel the warmth run down my spine- to nourish me once more



There are strings between you and some people that are stronger than others – you can even feel it when they start to miss you – feel the string tugging on your soul 

The night time tricks you into feeling lonely

So what if I still miss you at 2am
When the lights are dim
And it’s quiet enough for the thoughts to sink in

Not thoughts really. The feelings that weigh heavy on the heart get sent to the brain. The heart keeps beating but it doesn’t feel the same. Maybe half of it’s missing
Or maybe it’s just another day like when it was before you came. You’re  gone now anyway. And I wanted it this way- just taking a while for my heart to catch up, stop relishing and romanticizing the pain