i watched my mother turn to stone from all the men who loved her wrong.

watched her turn to clay and let them mold and re-mold her.slowly re-making her DNA

i watched her turn quiet, stop singing, stop dancing.

and then I watched as it happened to me

i haven’t stopped singing yet, but now i do it quietly.




friends forever

“friends don’t kiss” , you said while you’re leaving

well, friends don’t fuck either and who do we think we are kidding?


(explosive) expression



rebirth rebirth rebirth …. cont’

to flourish from the sorrow stained soil – to grow out of the dark depths of the dirt – to flow towards the burning embers of the sun and feel the warmth run down my spine- to nourish me once more



i’m gonna mourn you tonight

gonna soak up every memory till it eats me alive

cause it just doesn’t feel right – to be apart tonight, or for the rest of my life

it doesn’t feel right.


so i’ll pretend you’re here with me – i’ll binge on a feast of our memories 

it’ll taste so bitter & so damn sweet 



There are strings between you and some people that are stronger than others – you can even feel it when they start to miss you – feel the string tugging on your soul 

The night time tricks you into feeling lonely

So what if I still miss you at 2am
When the lights are dim
And it’s quiet enough for the thoughts to sink in

Not thoughts really. The feelings that weigh heavy on the heart get sent to the brain. The heart keeps beating but it doesn’t feel the same. Maybe half of it’s missing
Or maybe it’s just another day like when it was before you came. You’re  gone now anyway. And I wanted it this way- just taking a while for my heart to catch up, stop relishing and romanticizing the pain